Information
For Women
(Ex) Partners
Domestic Violence is behaviour which repeatedly occurs in an intimate or family relationship which is profoundly negative, abusive and sometimes life threatening.
WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?
Are you concerned that you may be in an abusive relationship?
Are you in a current relationship or still in contact with an ex partner who may be abusive to you in some way? Read the description below to see if this describes your relationship. Domestic Violence is behaviour which repeatedly occurs in an intimate or family relationship which is profoundly negative, abusive and sometimes life threatening. Behaviours can include physical violence, threatening behaviour, restricting access to money, transport and contact with friends and family. It may also include threats to children. Domestic Violence can also occur after the relationship has ended and may take the form of insulting texts and stalking activity.
Research has shown that Domestic Violence can have profound effects on a person’s physical and emotional health. The impact can remain long after the abusive behaviour has ended. Women react differently to such abusive behaviour. Some may leave the home and seek help in a woman’s refuge. Others may choose to remain in the home.
“Women often report, that it wasn’t always the physical violence that was the worst. It was the more subtle forms of control. It was not having their own money, seeing their children or their pets being treated badly and having to restrict their lives in an attempt to live by their partner’s rules to keep them happy.”
(Kelly and Westmarland, Project Mirabal, 2015)
DOMESTIC ABUSE SUPPORT TEAM
We offer support to current or ex partners of individuals who are on our programme which aims to address their abusive behaviour towards you.
If you have been contacted by a regional coordinator, it may be that your (ex) partner has been referred or is referring himself to our programme. We do not accept men onto our programmes if they are unwilling to disclose (ex) partner details so this is our requirement of him, in order for us to offer you the opportunity to avail of support regardless of whether you decide to accept this. This service is free and is available to you whilst your partner/ex-partner is on the programme and 3 months after he has left the programme. You can ask for support at any stage during the programme.
Why do we offer a Domestic Abuse Support Team?
The Domestic Abuse Support Team aims to increase your safety by;
- listening to you and providing you with support while your current or ex-partner is on the programme;
- Providing information to you about the programme to allow you to have an understanding about the topics that are being addressed and help you to have realistic expectations from the programme.
- In addition, your engagement can contribute to the assessment of your partner/ ex partner’s progress on the programme.
Proactive Domestic Abuse Support Team
Our designate domestic abouse support workers will set up a plan of structured/ regular support to suit your needs with emergency contacts agreed should safety needs arise. This can be provided by telephone and/or face to face support depending on your needs.
Is it confidential?
Your current or ex-partner will not be told any information about your contact with the Domestic Support Worker. The only way your partner will know about the support you are receiving is if you choose to tell him.
Information about CHOICES programme
While you receive your support, your current or ex-partner will be attending the CHOICES programme consisting of 23 weekly group sessions as well as a number of individual one to one sessions helping him to address his abusive behaviours. He will be required to attend all sessions and fully participate. This will require him to talk about his behaviour honestly and openly. He will be given the opportunity to learn about the impact of his behaviour on women and children. The programme will attempt to help him to develop healthy coping skills and encourage change in thinking and behaving towards women and children
I’m not sure I want to get involved?
You do not have to. The service provided by the Domestic Abuse Support Team is voluntary and whether you accept the service or not does not affect your partner or ex-partner’s suitability assessment outcome. However, the Domestic Abuse Support Team’s service is highly recommended in order to make sure that the programme is run as safely as possible and with the maximum possible chance of supporting you.
Will he change?
Regardless of whether your (ex) partner changes or not, the support you are offered is for you to reflect on your needs and priorities. Some men may not change, some women will decide to leave the relationship, even when he appears to change. Your safety and well being and that of your children is our main priority and his capacity and willingness to change is his concern. He will be supported to change if he chooses to.